Crack Biscuits

Miss Dorian Gray on my couch

First off, do I not have the cutest kitten ever? Ever ever?

Now for the best biscuit recipe EVER. I'm going to warn you right now: don't read this post any further unless you're willing to make a commitment. A serious commitment. A commitment to carbs. If you're low-carb, no-carb, anti-everything-that's-good-in-this-world-carb, then stop. (Anyways, I don't know why you'd be reading my blog if you hate carbs...) Just don't say I didn't warn you.

These, these are crack biscuits. I swear there's got to be MSG or crack slipped in them somehow while I'm not looking. Maybe there's some major chemical change while they bake. Maybe, just maybe, the southerners did something right.

The problem is, I can't stop making them. This is my...7th? batch or so in two weeks. Seriously. At first I didn't have self-rising flour, and even though they were super dense and tiny and probably not that good, I kept making them will all-purpose flour until I went to the grocery store to buy flour specifically for these biscuits. I've also used up an entire jar and a half of veganaise on them too.

And why are they so good? Baked in a muffin tin, they get more crispy on more area, leaving a golden satisfying hardness with each bite of the bottom. But on top and in the middle they are so light and so fluffy and so buttery and so satisfying. I'm eating my 3rd one of the morning as I speak. And did I mention they only need three, THREE!, ingredients?

Southern Mayo Biscuits

2 cups self-rising flour
3 tbsp veganaise
1 cup soy milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mix all ingredients together in a bowl. Spray a muffin tin with oil. Spoon the biscuit batter into the muffin tin so that each cup is half-full. Bake for 15-20 minutes or until the bottoms of the biscuits are golden-brown.

VwaV Scrambled Tofu & Baking Powder Biscuits

No time for a real post. But coming up, the world's best biscuits EVER. Even better the ones above. If you want the recipes and don't own Vegan with a Vengeance...then you should really buy it. Seriously. That and Veganomicon. Oh, and while you're at it, go vote for Terry & Isa in the VegNews Awards.

Happy Thursday, all!

Sick!

Yours truly managed to get Mono during finals! Woohoo!

Ok, really, it's not exciting. But it does explain why I kept passing out on my couch when I tried to write papers or study for my one final exam. It also explains why I haven't posted anything on here for awhile. I've hardly been cooking. Let alone writing blog posts about it.

So the first day or two that I was sick (last Friday maybe?) I rummaged around my pantry looking for anything edible. I really wanted to make soup, but I didn't have any soupy items besides lentils, so, even though it's totally off-season, I decided to try another lentil soup recipe. Luckily I had most of the ingredients that the PPK called for, minus the crusty bread, so I mixed up some biscuits to serve it with.

Overall impressions? Not bad--for a winter stew. I mean, it just felt weird eating lentil soup when it was 80 degrees outside. But it helped my throat for a little while, so that's good and all. I have a lot of leftovers, so I might do that pie thing again to get rid of them. Don't get me wrong, I love lentils, but this just isn't my favourite all-time way to eat them in the summer.

French Lentil Soup w/ Tarragon and Thyme

2 cups french lentils
2 teaspoons olive oil
1 large white onion, diced medium
1 32 oz can crushed tomatoes
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 teaspoons dried tarragon
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
A couple of generous dashes fresh black pepper
6 cups veggie broth

Heat olive oil in the soup pot. Add onions and cook about 10 minutes over med-high heat, until onions are browning and even a little burnt. Add the garlic , herbs and spices, saute 2 minutes. Add the tomatoes and a little splash of water if necessary and stir to deglaze the pot. Cover and cook for 5 minutes.

Add salt, 4 cups of veg broth and cover to bring to a boil. Add the lentils and bay leaves and cover again. Simmer about 45 minutes until lentils are almost totally tender. Add 2 more cups of broth, cover and bring to a boil again, about 15 more minutes. If it looks to thin, uncover and simmer for a couple of minutes. If it looks too thick, add a little more water.

Serve over biscuits.

Southern Biscuits & Gravy

I'm taking a Southern literature class right now--"The Rough South"--and last night while reading my last novel for the course, My Drowning by Jim Gimsley, I began to crave biscuits and gravy. This isn't the first time. Over the course of this semester, thanks to all of the lovely biscuit filled southern lit I've been reading, I've made approximately 10 different biscuit or gravy recipes. I have a serious problem. But after the word biscuit is used twenty times in two chapters, one has to make biscuits--even if it's 11 pm. Even if one should be sleeping. Even if one hates Southern food. My god, this is a comfort food thing...well, even though my family never made biscuits and gravy.

I was hungry, watching the fire, wishing for something to eat. We would have biscuits soon, I could smell them, but I never ate fast enough to fill my stomach, and afterward there was never anything left over. So I huddled in Mama's lap and watched the fire and felt the hollow fist in my belly.

The smell of biscuits filled the house, drawing my brothers, Carl Jr., Otis, and Joe Robbie, slouched like dogs along the walls. The smell awakened Daddy, who shuffled from teh bedroom pulling a flannel shirt over his thin shoulders.

He spooned sugar into his coffee and said nothing. When nothing but biscuit appeared to eat, he stared into the top of the table. He chewed the biscuit as if he were grazing in a pasture.

I got half a biscuit. The sensation of warm bread in the stomach made me happy, and I was allowed to eat in Mama's lap. We were eating, all of us. We crowded near the fireplace. No one talked.
-My Drowning, Jim Grimsley

Biscuits & Gravy

For the biscuits:
1 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
3 tablespoons margarine
1/2 cup soy milk
1 1/2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar

For the gravy:
1/4 of an onion, diced
3 cloves of garlic, diced
1/4 cup vegetable oil (I used a mix of olive and canola oil)
1 1/2 cups water
3 tablespoons flour
1/2 tsp sage
salt (to taste)
pepper (to taste)
5 or 6 white mushrooms

Preheat oven to 450.

To make the biscuits, mix the soy milk and vinegar in a seperate bowl and allow it to sit for 10 minutes until fermented. Mix together dry ingredients in a large bowl. Cut the margarine into pea sized pieces (in the flour) with a pastry cutter or fork. Add liquid ingredients and mix with a fork until it just starts to come together.

Push the dough into a ball, knead just once or twice and roll out to 1/2 thick slab. Cut into circles or squares, place on cookie sheet and bake at 450 for 10-15 minutes. (note: instead of rolling out the biscuits and cutting them, I used a spoon to drop irregular balls of dough onto the cookie sheet and then baked the free-form biscuits.)

To make the gravy, saute the onions and garlic in the vegetable oil for 2-3 minutes. Add the flour and stir until a paste forms. Slowly incorporate the water, constantly stirring, until a thick but liquid gravy is formed. Add the salt, pepper, and sage. Allow the liquid to boil for 3 or 4 minutes.

While the liquid is thickening, saute the mushrooms in 1 Tbsp of olive oil until slightly cooked. Add the mushrooms to the gravy as soon as the gravy has thickened.